Wake me up, before you go go

Last year, things were very different.

Last year, I had just moved to the city two months before.

…..I had been living with my then boyfriend.

….. I had only had Izzy, my Jack Russell, for 4 months.

….. I couldn’t find a job.

….. I was doing an internship with an Off-Broadway Casting Director and helped cast my first show.

….. I was incredibly poor.

….. I felt like I was stuck in time.

….. I had just spent a whole week in a library with the other incoming first year graduates in my program at NYU.

….. I was having second thoughts about my relationship.

….. I was incredibly nervous about starting school.

….. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make this Musical Theatre thing a reality.

….. my niece was only 5.

….. my family went on a “family vacation” without me, because I was going to be starting school and couldn’t get away.

Last year, I went to my first New York City audition.

It’s surprising me how much has really changed in this past year. I don’t even feel like I’m the same person anymore. I feel stronger, more sure about why I am here. I feel more mature and more confident, and yet more unsure at the same time. I often still feel like I’m stuck in time, that everyone else is moving around me and I can’t get my feet to move.

There is one thing I do know, however. New York City is my home. It has felt like home the second I stepped off the bus on a school trip in 2005. It has felt like home my first night in my first apartment here. And it feels even more home now. I walk these streets every single day and I am amazed and the history around me. People pass me and I wonder what their stories are. I see new buildings being built alongside those that are 200 years old. Lucky doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel to be here.

Five Minute Friday

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6 thoughts on “Wake me up, before you go go

  1. That’s the beauty about growing up, things you once worried about, you realize you are not as important. Great post and its great you are realizing all the things you are overcoming and maturing in.

  2. welcome to Five Minute Friday! So awesome to see you linking up.
    this sentence really resonated with me: “I often still feel like I’m stuck in time, that everyone else is moving around me and I can’t get my feet to move.” Looking back we can see that we have moved from who we were, what we were doing, how we were thinking…but IN the moment this seeming ‘standing still’ can seem to frustrating. Glad to hear that you are embracing this place, loving the city, developing amazing confidence…may that journey continue!

  3. Stopping by from FMF. I totally understand that feeling like your feet won’t move. It is amazing the difference that can happen in a year. I am glad I clicked on your link. Good luck in all your endeavors.

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