Last year, things were very different.
Last year, I had just moved to the city two months before.
…..I had been living with my then boyfriend.
….. I had only had Izzy, my Jack Russell, for 4 months.
….. I couldn’t find a job.
….. I was doing an internship with an Off-Broadway Casting Director and helped cast my first show.
….. I was incredibly poor.
….. I felt like I was stuck in time.
….. I had just spent a whole week in a library with the other incoming first year graduates in my program at NYU.
….. I was having second thoughts about my relationship.
….. I was incredibly nervous about starting school.
….. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make this Musical Theatre thing a reality.
….. my niece was only 5.
….. my family went on a “family vacation” without me, because I was going to be starting school and couldn’t get away.
Last year, I went to my first New York City audition.
It’s surprising me how much has really changed in this past year. I don’t even feel like I’m the same person anymore. I feel stronger, more sure about why I am here. I feel more mature and more confident, and yet more unsure at the same time. I often still feel like I’m stuck in time, that everyone else is moving around me and I can’t get my feet to move.
There is one thing I do know, however. New York City is my home. It has felt like home the second I stepped off the bus on a school trip in 2005. It has felt like home my first night in my first apartment here. And it feels even more home now. I walk these streets every single day and I am amazed and the history around me. People pass me and I wonder what their stories are. I see new buildings being built alongside those that are 200 years old. Lucky doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel to be here.