It’s just like our parents said when we were going up – when somebody is doing something the bothers us, ignore them. Silence is louder than words. When you’re young, you kind of just scoff that off and yell all you want. When I was in my undergrad, I realized that “silence” didn’t work for me – if somebody was doing something that bothered me, I was going to let them know so we can talk it out. I found that it was much easier to just approach these issues head on and get them over with, instead of ignoring them.
But not everyone feels that way, and that’s fine (I guess…). I just don’t understand sometimes, though. I was hanging out with this guy for the past couple months, and he and I were getting along really well. It wasn’t anything serious, so I’ve been dating around a little bit as well. But every time he and I would hang out, I would have such a good time. I’ve never really dated before – I’ve always pursued someone because I knew I wanted to try a relationship with them. This dating world has been a completely new thing for me, and I’m not used to going with the flow to see where things go. This is how this guy felt, though.
The entire time, it felt like I was getting mixed signals. We would have a great evening one night, have a cute goodnight kiss, and that would be that. Then the next time I would see him, it was like I was right back in the friend zone. This would continue over and over again. I eventually asked him, twice actually, what we were doing and how he felt. He would say something like “I’m really enjoying spending time with you, I’m not overthinking this, I’m just going with the flow but I know I like you”. Okay, great. I can do not serious.
I then didn’t see him for a week. He was busy, okay, whatever. He comes back and we go see The Great Gatsby together. Once I get home, I’m still confused as ever about how he feels toward me because even at the movie, it felt like I was in the friend zone. I texted him and asked when I could see him again. No response.
I like to go on Instagram and see what pictures people like to see if there are any interesting people I can follow. Come to find this guy is liking pictures on Instagram, AFTER I’ve texted him. No response that night. I decide there that he’s obviously not really into me. And that’s fine! But I’m not into him saying otherwise, but acting this way. It’s confusing.
The next morning he texts me and says he gets his work schedule that week and will let me know. I just right back “kk”.
Guess what? Haven’t heard from him since. It’s been a week. He leaves today for a month to do a play.
I guess Silence IS louder than words. I now know exactly how he feels.